Tuesday, February 26, 2008

Defining Greatness: The One-Hit Wonder Scale-According to Starpulse Entertainment

Vanilla IceProbably the most underrated term in the music industry is the "One Hit Wonder." Popularized in the 80s, one hit wonders are either regarded as artists with one hit (like Deee-Lite's "Groove is in the Heart"), or artists who produced a song that everybody knows (like "Turning Japanese" by The Vapors).

However, the truth of the matter is that one hit wonders actually come in many shapes and sizes. There are hits that are huge one day and laughable the next, there are hits that are mildly spectacular at first but ultimately propel the careers of the artists who recorded them, and there are hits that are just plain ol' hits.

So to dispel the notion that all one hit wonders are bad, I've created a sliding scale from 0-10 defining the greatness of a true one hit wonder.

Gerardo0.0 – The Gerardo: One hit song ("Rico Suave"), followed by a lifetime's amount of disses and mockery. At the very least, takes solace in being a legit version of Milli Vanilli.

1.0 – The Chumbawamba: ("Tubthumpting") slight upgrade on Gerardo.

2.0 – The Vanilla Ice: One hit song ("Ice Ice Baby") followed by years (and years, and years...) of self parody and a life relegated to Hollywood's D-list. The acute knowledge that boys on the street corner are making better records and selling them out the back of their trunks on a $100 budget than the thousands you spend to make yours. The solace in knowing that for better or for worse, people still know who you are.

2.5 – The Eddie Murphy: One hit song ("Party all the Time") that actually was a legitimate hit, offset by a much more legitimate acting career.

3.0 – The Rembrandts: One hit song ("I'll Be There for You") featured on one of the greatest TV Shows of all time. If the song had appeared in any other medium, the Rembrandts would never have to work again. If it were any other medium...

Lou Bega3.9 – The Lou Bega ("Mambo No. 5"). That is all.

4.0 – The Los Del Rio: One massively hit song ("Macarena") that could've sold with lunchboxes. No one song has had such the epic rise and fall. At the very least, a major upgrade on Chumbawamba.

4.5 – The Carl Douglas: One hit song ("Kung Fu Fighting") that pops up on commercials and movies from time to time. Novelty at its best.

5.0 – The Baha Men: One hit song ("Who Let the Dogs Out") that will never be any more or any less. If given the opportunity to flip a coin and land on either side of this scale or simply take this position for free, there might be a surprising number or takers here.

5.5 – The Knack: One hit song ("My Sharona") that finds recurring popularity once every ten years. The Knack are invariably happy to receive "Christmas" royalty checks at random.

No comments:

John and Dave talks Oscar nomination predictions